Laser for nose bleeds!

I have had recurrent nose bleeds and my doctor says I should undergo laser treatment. Is this ok?

No, your doctor is a buffoon. While laser can be used, it is more expensive and also very painful. The easiest method is use of silver nitrate or electrocautery, which is much cheaper, just as effective and slightly less painful. However, you many want to try nasal packing first. Cauterization is generally done when packing fails to control the nose bleed. If nothing works, then a surgical approach to ligate the blood vessels may be required.

Lithium and alcohol

I am on  lithium for my bipolar disorder. Can I drink alcohol?

You can drink anything you want, even piss. But I should I want you, Lithium is not the medication you want to mess around with. The drug is very finicky and can cause serious side effects. I highly recommend you not take alcohol when you are on lithium. Dehydration can easily lead to toxicity of lithium. Lithium toxicity is permanent in most cases.

Bipolar and weight gain

Is there a medication for bipolar disorder that won’t cause weight gain?

The majority of medications that are used to treat BPD cause weight gain. The only ones which do not cause weight gain are the anticonvulsants, but they are not always effective. In addition the anticonvulsants have other adverse effects like sedation, excess fatigue and drowsiness. BPD is a very difficult disorder to treat because the patients are often non compliant and have other associated disorders. My advice is that if a drug works, stick with it  In many cases, what works in one patient does not mean it will work for you. There is no way around the side effects. Every single medication used to treat mood and behavior disorders is associated with side effects. To avoid weight gain, eat less and walk more.

Chelation therapy for headaches

My alternative healthcare practitioner recommended I undergo chelation therapy for my headaches. Is this safe?

Chelation therapy is bogus and so is your healthcare provider. Chelation therapy is dangerous and not approved by the FDA for treatment of headaches. I seriously urge you to see a reputable neurologist for your headaches. There are too many quacks in medicine, especially the alternative healthcare practitioners. Most do not know the arse from the mouth. In real medicine, chelation is only used to treat heavy metal poisoning. There is zero evidence that headaches are due to heavy metal poisoning. Please if you want to live a long life without hassles, stop seeing this fool.

Topiramate for tremor

Recently my doctor suggested I try topiramate for my essential tremor. What do you think?

Absolutely not. The drug has been evaluated in trials and was only marginally better than a sugar pill. Plus, in the trials many people dropped out because of side effects. The drug is also very expensive. My advice is go with propranolol- it is cheap, effective and has been around for 80 years. It is a safe medication.

Fenugreek and diabetes

I am a type 2 diabetic and have heard that fenugreek can lower blood sugars. Is this true?

Not that is Bullshit. Studies on fenugreek have been done but the results are difficult to interpret. Some people say the blood sugars do come down but others claim that there is no change in blood sugars. Most of these studies were non-randomized and sponsored by the manufacturers of fenugreek. Whenever you read that a study is sponsored by a pharmaceutical company or a manufacturer of a herb, that usually means the results have been fudged. If you want to live a healthy life without the complications of diabetes, then dump the fenugreek in the toilet and go and see a real doctor. We have some effective medications to lower blood sugars. Stop fooling  around with diabetes-it is not a pleasant disorder to mess with.

Do i have herpes?

I am a 23 year old female and recently had sex with a stranger at a party. Now I have broken out with painful sores on the outside of my vagina. How do I know if this is herpes?

In most cases, an astute physician can make a diagnosis of herpes by the history and physical exam. However, when you go for the physical, the doctor may obtain scrapings and send them to the lab to confirm that this is herpes. There are not many infections that present like herpes and in many cases, the lab test is not done. Herpes is the only STD that presents with painful vesicles (blisters).

Herpes genitalis

Can herpes from the genitals spread to other parts of the body?

No, herpes type 2 is limited to the genitals. The virus for some unknown reason loves the sex organs as much as humans. While on its own the virus will not spread to the rest of the body, it can be transmitted to your partner’s mouth, throat and genitals very easily. Herpes genitalis is not a life threatening infection,  but once you get herpes, you won’t forget it for a long time.

Vaginitis and sex

Is it OK to have sex if I have a vaginitis?

As long as you do not have a sexually transmitted infection, it is okay to have intercourse if you and your partner feel comfortable. The common variety of vaginitis is not transmitted to your partner. However, during vaginitis most women find it uncomfortable to have sexual intercourse. In addition, sometimes the odor of the infection is unpleasant. Best advice, wait a few days for the infection to subside. If you just can’t want to have sex, use a sex toy.

Butt lift surgery

Can anyone undergo a butt Lift procedure?

Well, you must have money and this is the only criteria most plastic surgeons think is valid. However, the surgery is not for everyone. If you are younger than 20 or older than 40, you should not undergo the procedure. If you smoke, you can have difficulty with wound healing. You also have to be realistic. You have to remember, not all surgeons are great technically. In most cases, the choice of your surgeon will determine your outcome. So take your time before rushing to surgery. There is no cosmetic procedure that is a surgical emergency and since you are paying for it, you should make an effort to learn something about your surgeon.

Combining cosmetic surgery procedures

Can butt lift surgery be combined with other cosmetic procedures?

You can rest assured, if you have the money, you can have a heart transplant and a colonoscopy done at the same time. Plastic surgeons are business people and will do anything to convince you to have more procedures. So if you want a nose job, big boobs, tight vagina, small arse, face-lift, Botox, just ask.

Butt lift surgery

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Is there anything I can do to make the results of butt lift surgery last long?

Best thing you can do is not gain weight. You have to remember two things you will never control- age and gravity. So walk or do some type of exercise and watch what you eat- if you are lucky your buttocks will remain firm and toned for many years- but aging and gravity will continue. In most cases, this sexy erotic look lasts a few years-if you are lucky

Treatment for post pregnancy skin discoloration

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Just before my delivery I noticed linear darkening of my skin below the belly button. Now that I have delivered, this skin discoloration is still present. Is there anything I can do about it?

You have what is called linea nigra. This is due to excess pigmentation of skin caused by a certain hormone released by the placenta. My best advice is to keep away from all doctors as this condition will improve on its own- it needs no treatment. You do not need to apply any oils, cream or ointment. Just be patient and within a few weeks it will disappear. There are many doctors who recommend bullshit plastic surgery procedures for this condition- they are simply known as scammers and you should avoid them. The same applies if you have melasma or cholasma-they require no treatment.

Canker sores and lidocaine

I tend to get recurrent canker sores. Each time my doctor prescribes lidocaine. Can this medication cure canker sores?

No, lidocaine is a short acting local anesthetic. It numbs the pain but does not cure canker sores. In fact the pain relief is only for a few seconds. I do not recommend it. You may just apply an ice cube and will get better pain relief. Lidocaine is expensive and a complete waste of money.

IBS and debulking agents

I have IBS and my doctor told me to take bulking agents on a regular basis. Will this help my disorder?

Unfortunately IBS is a difficult disorder to treat. Not all patients respond to the same medications. Moreover, even the responses are variable with the same medication. In general, patients with IBS do not respond to bulking agents like bran or psyllium. The only way to know is to try them out. Bulking agents are safe but they appear to worsen the symptoms of IBS in most patients. if you have tried cereals and this has not helped your IBS, i suggest you change your doctor or try something else.

Cocoa to lower blood pressure

Is it true that ingesting cocoa products can lower blood pressure?

In the last decade, many health miracles have been attributed to cocoa products. Almost every week someone seems to be cured of cancer or a serious medical disorder after ingesting cocoa. Cocoa does contains strong antioxidants, which are claimed to be good for health. However, as far as health is concerned, the effects of cocoa are not consistent, unpredictable or unreliable. 

The few studies on cocoa on blood pressure lowering did not show any benefit. The blood pressure lowering was minimal and similar to that obtained with a placebo (that is the same response you would get by drinking your own urine). If you have high blood pressure, I suggest you go and see your doctor. Fooling around with this silent disorder can lead to serious complications. In the meantime, stop smoking, eat less and walk more. The only thing cocoa will do - is give you severe constipation.

Finger in the arse

During sex, my girlfriend wants me to put my finger in her arse. Is this safe?

Well, some people find is pleasant to have a finger in the arse during sex. It is also known as postillionage. There is no harm to your girlfriend as long as your nails are not sharp and you are gentle.

On your part, you should not suck on the finger afterwards or place it any other orifice of your body without first washing the hands.

Some men also find it exciting to have the woman place a finger in the arse. Anecdotal reports indicate that it enhances the erection. This is a new trend in sex and statistics indicate that at least 2-5% of women/men, love it. I guess, different strokes for different folks.

Bedbugs in hotels-is there a problem?

Is the bedbug problem under control in hotels?

Unfortunately no, bedbugs are seeing a resurgence almost everywhere. The problem is the lack of reporting. A fancy hotel is unlikely to ever comment that they have a bed bug problem, otherwise they lose business. But in reality, the problem is huge. Unlike most insects and household vermin, bedbugs are a lot more difficult to get rid off. These creatures are hardy and can survive in almost any environment. Besides the home, you are also likely to find bedbugs in hotels, hospitals, movie theaters, and anywhere where humans socialize.

Hotels and bedbugs

Is it possible to know if a hotel has bedbugs?

No, you can check the bed, the carpet, crevices and mattress, but bedbugs are not easily seen. They usually hide in places where you may never think of looking. You are more likely to find them along the cracks and crevices and along the headboard. But the way hotel beds are built, it is impossible to dismantle them and check for bedbugs. You have two choices if you are worried about bedbugs- do not go to the hotel or sleep outside in the park or the bench.

Insecticide to kill bedbugs

Do insecticide sprays work against bed bugs?

More than likely the insecticide spray will make you sick. Today, bedbugs are resistant to almost every known insecticide. So if you go on spraying these toxic chemicals in your home, it is you and your family who is going to need treatment in hospital. Insect experts claim that we have run out of solutions on to kill these creatures. The role of chemicals and insecticides is no longer practical or effective. The only way to prevent bedbugs is being aware how these critters can enter your home. Once inside your home, they are like herpes- they stay forever.

Artichoke to lower cholesterol

Recently my alternative healthcare practitioner suggested I take artichoke to lower my blood cholesterol. Does it work?

Many people eat artichoke leaf extracts for the treatment of elevated lipids. However, there are no good studies to show that it does anything. The few limited studies are not impressive and the lowering of cholesterol is mild at best. If you have high cholesterol, I suggest you stop relying on artichoke leaves. I highly recommend exercise and if that fails you may need to take the statin medications. In the meantime, stop smoking and decrease ingestion of fatty foods. Stop relying on a single plant or herb to maintain good health.

Green tea to lower blood pressure?

I have heard that drinking red tea (Roselle) may help lower blood pressure. Is this true?

No, you heard wrong. Millions of people seem to think that drinking tea is good for health. So far, there is no evidence that tea is anything more than a social beverage. Over the past 3 decades, hundreds of types of tea have been developed with hyped up health benefits. The manufacturers of tea products are simply scamming people with false claims about its health benefits. Orientals have been drinking tea for centuries and their health does not appear to be any better than Westerners. There is no harm in drinking tea but if you expect your blood pressure to drop, you are sadly mistaken. Marketing tea for health benefits is now a major scam. Every type of tea is being hyped up to cure everything under the SUN. Unfortunately, there are many gullible and stupid people who believe such crap and fall for unproven therapies.